22

Leaving.
I'm leaving.
Running? No, just walking quickly without looking back. I am not running away, I just don't think I could stay here one more month, see one more patient, hear one more order. I am off to see the world, make my dreams a reality.

"I don't think you will stay the whole year."
"Why don't you want to help people here? There are lots of hospitals here in the US that need help."

I am 22 years old. I don't need to know exactly who I am and what I am doing. I don't need to get on the right career path, get started with my right foot forward. I have played the game thus far, done as I was told, been a responsible student moving a the speed of light towards a very normal successful life. Moving at mach speed towards a responsible career, 401K plan and afternoons spent at soccer games. To be totally honest, money means very little to me. I hate what money does to people, what money does to relationships, what money issues do to relationship. I know that it is nice to feel financially secure, and make wise choices, but I refuse to let money shape my life. Is there a small laugh forming in the back of your throat? I know that this makes my parents laugh, and shake their heads at how young and foolish I am. But I am completely serious. Why live your whole life saving for retirement when you can enjoy your life every step of the way- work less, spend less, travel more, enjoy more? Not that I don't want to save money- I do. I just don't need material things, I could live very modestly and still save enough to have a comfortable future. If need be I will work as a surgical PA and make a disgusting amount of money for a few years, enough to get by for a while.

Right now I want to grab my bike head down to the very southern most tip of Chile and cycle my way home. Argentina, Bolivia, Brazil, Peru, Ecuador, Colombia, Venezuela... Maybe I will just keep going to Panama, Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Honduras, El Salvador, Guatemala, Belize, Mexico....

Dangerous, ridiculous, unrealistic, foolish? Maybe so.

I want to ride a camel out into the desert.
I want to watch the sun rise over the Persain Gulf, Gulf of Oman, Arabian Sea.
I want to live in a rainforest and study herbalism. Live in Africa and do public health education. Live in Thailand and teach english. Live in India and do HIV testing and counseling.
I want to help women all around the world have safe healthy pregnancies and deliveries.
I want to study Spanish in Spain and open a painting studio on the beach.
I want to walk dogs in Paris.
I want to live in Portland and kayak to a floating coffee shop, where I make shots of espresso all day.
I want to learn how to teach yoga, and spend long days helping people connect with themselves.
I want to work on an organic farm and run my hands through the dirt, wipe it all over my body, run naked through the chemical free rows of strawberries....

Maybe I have gone totally insane.
Will you join me?